Oh Nike FuelBand, you giveth and then you taketh away. I really thought we had something special. For fifteen months, I was so proud to have you on my arm.

I took you to lunch all the time.

We were running buddies.

You were with me on my fortieth birthday.

You seduced me with your acclaimed style.

Your photo in Vogue!

You dazzled me with your brains.

I learned so much about myself through you.

And I was ecstatic in January when we reached a huge milestone in our relationship.

I was completely committed to you.

But then last week, out of nowhere, you dropped me like a hot potato. I was confused. I felt betrayed and abandoned but desperately wanted you back.

I reached out to you, pleading for an explanation.

Your response? It was infuriating.

You tried to be nice but took no blame.

How could you treat me this way? Let’s face it, you were good, but not that good. Looking back, you were a lot like a house arrest ankle monitor, tracking my every move. Crazy stalker.

Lately, I’ve been seeking comfort in an old flame who’s bright but not as smart as you.

My arm candy these days. Jealous?

I actually feel liberated now that we’re no longer an item. Some people predicted that we would never last, and they were right. You were a fling, and I’m looking for the real deal.

Update on April 19, 2014: Apparently I’m not the only one ditching my “wearable tech product”; a new study shows that one-third of Americans who bought one abandoned it within six months… And wouldn’t you know it? Nike just announced that they will no longer make FuelBands—the physical wrist-worn products. They will now focus exclusively on improving the Nike+ software platform and will launch a public API, leaving it to third-party companies to design new hardware for NikeFuel.

Related posts you might like:

Fuel for January

Through the Looking Glass

Cinderella in Running Shoes